There is nothing in this universe that can change my mind about certain things. For example, smoking. I am against smoking, hate it! But when ur set on a certain mindframe and someone comes along and changes the way you think, you ulter a few things, not core beliefs but guidlines. When you start to give and take from each other, you start to fall and when all said and done and that person doesnt care or doesnt seem to care anymore, you fall fast and you fall hard! When you have convinced yourself that this one person is what you want and need and they decide that they arent, you could not imagine the pain. You cannot fathem the hurt, loss, shame and a constant "what did I do?" or "If I had've done this". But with all this pain atleast you know you're alive, well you can feel. A constint gaping hole in your chest riping itself bigger everytime you even think or hear words that remind you. Holding your sides together is all that can be mustered in a feeble attempt to stop the pain. Trying so hard to act normal so no one will ask. Smiles hide the undyeing agony inside. Under clever shurades of normal and happy, utter hopelessness and anger towards yourself, lie in wait. Wait until your all alone with nothing but you and your thoughts. Waiting for you to slip, just once, and then the waves of self loath and angwish role over you like your stuck in a ripe, battering you against jagged rocks. Little by little pieces of happiness start to chip away and are drawn out to sea, never to be brought back. And deep down you new this would happen. While everything was pure bliss, you new this would happen. It always does. Nothing can be good for too long. Nothing... It's your fault. You know it is. It's your fault and you dont deserve him. Let him think, let him prolong the suffering before the final blow. As long as it's quick, it wont hurt as much. He doesn't even have to talk long or say much. Just enough to ripe the hole open so it can't be healed. That's all you need... There is nothing in this universe that can change my mind about certain things... It's my fault and it hurts so much...




Well hows that for creative writting... I think I did okay? What do you think? Am I a rambaling sook or what? -^^-


Have a good day. And don't let that certain some one slip from your grasp. Try your best and don't let people get you down. Don't listen to words, follow your heart. It will work out if it's ment to be